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by Brigitte Meier
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character that decides on the strength of personality and the degree of inner freedom:
- "self assurance" describes mostly the behaviour. Counterparts are insecure behaviour or shyness.
- "self confidence" is the mental and emotional state that causes the outer appearance.
- "charisma" is the effect that those have on others.
Self confidence doesn't mean being perfect or presenting oneself in a perfect way, but realizing and accepting own strengths and weaknesses, using strengths to reach aims and considering weaknesses as challenges, not insurmountable limits.
It can be observed that some children are by nature more actively exploring their environment than others. So possibly self confidence has a genetic foundation.
Still, all experiences that include social interaction, with parents, relatives, friends and classmates, influence the development of self esteem. Appreciation has a positive, rejection a negative effect. But unfortunately, it's not that easy.
False or fake appreciation can often be observed with parents and relatives. For example the adoration of even the smallest output of infant creativity, like crude drawings, and other approvals of a child's intelligence and appearance can lead to a situation of over-confidence. Undeserved rejection, on the other hand, like punishing or disregarding a child out of an own bad mood, will confuse it and create insecurity.
Over-confidence, or the belief in own abilities and performance that are not real, can lead to arrogance. This can either turn into insecurity, if the person later realizes the truth, or it turns into an inconsiderate behaviour, which also isn't making life easier. Insecurity or shyness are very common burdens and they tend to create a lot of problems. Aside from lacking social and personal success, the constant fear of the own inferiority creates barriers that are hard to overcome.
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by A Dude's Guide on Oct 13th
Well, I’m back from Florida and I’ve discovered that I really am addicted to the internet, to being in constant e-mail contact with anyone and everyone. When I’m away at the beach, I don’t really have access to the internet. What little access I do have comes from piggybacking someone else’s signal. For the most part that signal is pretty weak. This time around, it seemed, it was weaker than normal.
Whenever I got a signal it would work for a few minutes and then vanish, leaving me so frustrated I’d be tempted to start banging on the keyboard like a rabid monkey. (Every notice monkeys are always funny and even funnier when used in part of a metaphor? I like monkeys.) Fortunately for my own peace of mind, my friends were able to rescue me from this by hiding my computer.
Once I calmed down the third time, (the first two times I had them believing I was all right and then promptly made my screaming escape once they unwound the blanket and untied the ropes. Sometimes my friends can be a little gullible.) I was able to see the good in going internet-less for a while. Sure it was hard when I couldn’t hit imdb.com to look up the name of that movie actor, wossname, who was in that movie, you know the one. But I made it.
Of course, I’m writing this at the airport. As soon as I checked my bag and ran to the gate, I flipped open the laptop and started getting my fix again. Ahhh, sweet, sweet information, I love it when you flow like wine. Now, if you’ll pardon me, I believe I have some words to mainline.
Oh, yeah, the title of this post? Part of the most misquoted line in movie history. From Cool Hand Luke, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” The actual line is “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” Almost the same, but different enough. Of course I looked that up on the internet.
– Richard
A Dude's Guide is a supposed to be a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional, insightful or funny people; but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude's learn and contribute to this blog. Subscribe to A Dude's Guide blog for fatherhood advice and topics from Daddy Dudes!
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