Building Your Parenting Self Confidence
by Brigitte Meier

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character that decides on the strength of personality and the degree of inner freedom:

- "self assurance" describes mostly the behaviour. Counterparts are insecure behaviour or shyness.

- "self confidence" is the mental and emotional state that causes the outer appearance.

- "charisma" is the effect that those have on others.

Self confidence doesn't mean being perfect or presenting oneself in a perfect way, but realizing and accepting own strengths and weaknesses, using strengths to reach aims and considering weaknesses as challenges, not insurmountable limits.

It can be observed that some children are by nature more actively exploring their environment than others. So possibly self confidence has a genetic foundation.

Still, all experiences that include social interaction, with parents, relatives, friends and classmates, influence the development of self esteem. Appreciation has a positive, rejection a negative effect. But unfortunately, it's not that easy.

False or fake appreciation can often be observed with parents and relatives. For example the adoration of even the smallest output of infant creativity, like crude drawings, and other approvals of a child's intelligence and appearance can lead to a situation of over-confidence. Undeserved rejection, on the other hand, like punishing or disregarding a child out of an own bad mood, will confuse it and create insecurity.

Over-confidence, or the belief in own abilities and performance that are not real, can lead to arrogance. This can either turn into insecurity, if the person later realizes the truth, or it turns into an inconsiderate behaviour, which also isn't making life easier. Insecurity or shyness are very common burdens and they tend to create a lot of problems. Aside from lacking social and personal success, the constant fear of the own inferiority creates barriers that are hard to overcome.

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You Smelt It? You Delt IT
by A Dude's Guide on May 8th

Let me see if I’ve got this straight: In a household that’s mostly Dude!ttes, farts and feces aren’t considered the height of wit and sophistication? Wow, what a strange world they must live in.

I’ve got three (not-so) little Dudes!. Which means, of course, that any gaseous exhalation from the nether regions is cause for much laughter, hand waving, attempts to talk without breathing through their noses and, when done very, very wrong, running out of the room at high speed. No fart goes unnoticed and no fart goes unpunished. This is what passes for humor in my house. I’ve tried to get them to change, but I’m pretty sure laughing at a trumpet-blast of smell is hardwired into the Y chromosome.

I decided the only way to deal with it is to work with it. We’re trying to think up new words to describe farting. That way, I’m hoping, they’ll be laughing at words, rather than smells and sounds. African barking spider, stepping on a toad, dueling trumpets. We’re nothing if not gross, we Dude!s. Any euphemisms used in your house?

- Richard

A Dude's Guide is a supposed to be a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional, insightful or funny people; but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude's learn and contribute to this blog. Subscribe to A Dude's Guide blog for fatherhood advice and topics from Daddy Dudes!